Miller Finally Receives Bad Karma for Making Fun of Swine Flu

DAYQUIL, FLA -- "I'm gonna punch every swine in the face," she said, in between Kleenex tissues and coughing up her god damn lungs. "I don't know how this happened."

Miller had reported a constant stream of lethargy over the past week, but was not experiencing any cold/flu symptoms. While at her current occupation this past Friday, she started feeling woozy and got those awesome flu chills that everyone knows about.

She also advises all of her blog readers to stay the hell away from liquid Nyquil, unless they want to lay awake for 6 hours and "trip balls."

"It's like, when you have a fever you feel really out of it already," she said, "but after a shot of Nyquil you're stuck in the zone. Lost in your own head - random thoughts and images - the same song stuck in your head for hours on end. Chills. No sleep. Bad chills."

"I still feel like death," she said, on the couch inside her Madeira Beach home. Miller currently has a 5-page paper, beat story, photojournalism assignment, and 8 online lectures to watch. The only thing she has enough energy to do is sit on her ass, watching Iron Chef and pretending that her chicken noodle soup is actually Eel Osobuco, with a light tomato glaze.

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.