HOLY FUCK, FLA, Nov. 5 - A University of South Florida student, Nicole D. Miller, is currently losing her fucking mind in her Madeira Beach home this morning. Officials said the onset of this time-lapsing epiphany of analytical pessimism began earlier the previous day, but has lasted until 2:38 a.m.
Officials also said that Miller realized today that she only experiences bad in everything because of the people who cause it in her world and do not even take the time to notice. "It's like, how can you just shit all over someone's day and then politely step over it so you don't get any on you?" she said early Thursday morning.
According to Miller, this constant fatuous bullshit makes her want to "inhale staples" and "peel my face off, so I have something to suffocate myself with."
So far, her coping method is playing Wii and rapping the popular 97x song, No Handlebars, in its entireity.
"Rapping helps me forget about peoples' bullshit for a few solid minutes," she said.
Fuck Life.
Way to take your frustration and channel it into something really good! That was amazing! Also, I CAN RIDE MY BIKE WITH NO HANDLEBARS!
ReplyDeletelove you girlie, don't eat staples, plz.
:D
ReplyDeleteNo, please don't eat staples. Whenever you need a little love Nic, you're always welcome round here. Love you cuz.
ReplyDelete