These Apples are Totally Cray: How America is exterminating human tastebuds

One lucky day I will be moving out of this country, but until then I have to live with the fact that America has started producing whole apples with flavor inside of them. 

Just because the FDA allows the existence of natural flavorings, does that mean we should pump them into everything we ingest? I'm not sure what Crazy Apples, Inc. could be thinking; I'm sure it's far too busy selling apples that are "naturally" flavored like bubblegum, anyway. 

I'm having a hard time figuring out why we need to disguise fruit as candy. Is plain fruit scary? Too boring? Do we want kids to view the essence of a plain, nutritious apple the same way they instill the reputation of Hubba Bubba? 

Crazy Apples Inc. is prepared with other apple flavors like Pomegranate Grape and Tropical Blast. Yeah. The apples taste like different fruits [shoot me], while injecting a wholesome apple with a manufactured fruit taste like Capri Sun and other processed, sugary drinks. 

I'm not sure if fruit — a food that we need 2-4 times daily — should taste like the fats, oils and sweets we are instructed to use sparingly. Yes, I understand that nobody ingests gum regularly, but it's safe to say that the general flavor of pink bubblegum tastes like candy. 

The Crazy Apples Inc. website claims the natural bubblegum flavor is made with dozens of "mixed natural flavor notes." A google search for "natural flavor notes" shows the Crazy Apples website as the third result. You so crazy, Crazy Apples.

According to the FDA:
"The term natural flavor or natural flavoring means the essential oil, oleoresin, essence or extractive, protein hydrolysate, distillate, or any product of roasting, heating or enzymolysis, which contains the flavoring constituents derived from a spice, fruit or fruit juice, vegetable or vegetable juice, edible yeast, herb, bark, bud, root, leaf or similar plant material, meat, seafood, poultry, eggs, dairy products, or fermentation products thereof, whose significant function in food is flavoring rather than nutritional." 

So they're natural, but not nutritional. Thank you. That was just as deceiving as the quotes on the Crazy Apples Inc. website that are attributed to absolutely no one. 

I'd prefer my future children to know the difference between candy and fruit and know when to avoid disgusting lab experiment crap like this. I don't want my kids to need a blue raspberry flavor added to their ice cubes in order to tolerate them; I never want them to throw an apple back at me because "it's just a regular one." I'll immediately regurgitate in the middle of Publix when I see carrots with pink and green polka dots. If a company wants to market Blue Super Sugar Pops with chemicals, go nuts, but do us a solid and stay the fuck away from the foods we need to live. 

Regardless of everything that's been said and done, the fact remains that we're still living in a world where bubblegum can be considered a "natural flavor." And that, my friends, is the utterly terrifying tip of the iceberg (with natural ice flavor). 

Other naturally unnatural apple products: http://www.grapplefruits.com/process.html (For when eating grapes and apples separately is just so unbearably boring).

Interesting insight about cancer and chemicals the United States wants us to eat: http://cancercompass.wordpress.com/2012/05/13/artificial-colors-flavors-additives-and-preservatives/

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